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Rode into Manhattan, New York, on a royal chariot, a Greyhound bus to be exact, with all of $50 in my pocket. Port Authority Terminal has got to be one of the most depressing shitholes on this ball of mud. Row upon row of dented, flaking gray-painted steel lockers, travelers and transients with backpacks and suitcases rubbing the sleep out of their eyes, pimps and hustlers, and miscellaneous whackos muttering to themselves about the end of the world, with only an occasional scared-looking cop walking by. Up and outta that place. Up the cement staircase to the street. It was only a short stroll to Times Square, the imperial asshole of the world.I had a Plan. I'm nothing, if not resourceful. The store sign read "Novelties and Souvenirs." Told the clerk I wanted a custom imprinted t-shirt. Invested $25 of my stash and got a form-fitting shirt reading: "1001 Variations." It showed off my pecs real good.Ambled uptown into rich folks' country. Upper East Side. The Casbah itself. The. Within four months, everything will be in place. At last, what I have been working for my entire life will be achieved. The spread of the Islamic Revolution! The destruction of the infidels! The beheading of the Great Satan! Allah ahkbar!"With these words to his closest aides, the Ayatollah Makhtol had set into motion a plan that would alter the course of history. The date was October 29, 1997. The meeting had been called by the Ayatollah to discuss arrangements for a bold idea that would paralyze the country most feared by the mullahs controlling Iran, the United States of America."What kind of progress are our agents making? Will they have enough weapons and explosives to do what is required of them?" Yes, Imam," replied Suliman Khataf, the chief of covert actions, including terrorist activities, undertaken on behalf of the Islamic Revolution. "Our agents are making the necessary preparations for the uprisings scheduled to begin twelve hours after our little diversion, which will.
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